For some, the mental idea of turning 40 is terrifying. The thought of going “over the hill” is like some death spiral of irrelevance, old age, and weakness. Well it happened to me and I can say without and second thought that I am in no way feeling a death spiral. I am now stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually then I have ever been in my life and it “feels good man”¹.

Clancy and I regularly joke about how my Birthdays usually bring big massive changes and this year is marked by pretty significant change. For one, “we just got out of mercury in retrograde” or something cosmic like that. You can translate that to mean that time has passed and one chapter is closing and a new one is opening. This could not have happened soon enough thank you Mr. Retrograde. Some other notable changes… I am in a different city 4-5 days a week away from my family working, in a new job, in a new industry, living in an apartment, grinding balls off daily. This is not a complaint, just a simple description of the scenario, I haven’t been away from my wife on my birthday ever since I have known her, some 13 yeras or so, so this is a change. I will see the gals tomorrow which is a massive blessing. The moral of this is that my world is wholely different than it was a year ago, and while it has it’s hardships, it is also presenting new opportunities for growth and prosperity.

4 Decades

1-10 Years

Can you actually remember these years? I try and recall specific memories and it is tough. Only the core memories remain. Prime elementary school years. Mirror gazing, wondering outside, bicycles, sumertime, streetlights, scabs and bruises, legos, it’s hard to remember all my teachers names. I try to think back to the hallways of elementary school, I can remember the layout, I remember the playground being huge, the swingest was massive, the walls and doors so tall, the field behind the school was huge.

11-20 Years

middle school high school and college all in a decade… that’s a lot to swallow. how do you sum it up, can you remember it? 6th grade I can hardly remember, but after that is 8th grade and onward and things start to be easier to remember. soccer and highschool, and friends, and 4 wheelers, and cars, and girls, and intoxication, music, video games, comedy, ego, attention, being really loud and needing a lot of attention, divorce, fraternity, and exploration. It was the best of times, I really don’t have any desire to go back, just pray my kids get to have an equally good time.

21-30 Years

graduate, real job, move to Arkansas, leave home, beer sales, wild, hp, Clancy, marriage, home ownership, Texas, baby girl. This was like a blur of a decade, sometimes I think I remember less of this decade then I do the previous one, thanks to the immature desire to consume and be intoxicated. embarassed to think about the early and mid 20’s. Really was lacking a mentor, all in hindsight ofc. The end of the decade was the beginning of the rest of my life ♥♥♥.

31-40 Years

Dad life, still immature, traveling sales, hpe, money, baby 2, build house, apartment, new house, a dark place, marketing job, Bitcoin, Arkansas, new house, double mortgage for 1 year, black-pill, Covid, unemployed, Bitcoin Magazine, magazines, creative, mining, Texas, black-pill maxing, cheerleading, kids activities, rekt, Jesus, health, fitness, crossfit, Cora, Austin. An insane decade of ups and downs but this was the most fulfilling. By far the most difficult, but I can honestly say that it has been the most rewarding.

I have not proof read any of this, so I am sure it is riddled with errors, but glancing back through the decades is a bit of a mind fuck, for me at least. Summarizing your life to a long runon sentence of descriptions for a decade really sets the mood. Now I am thinking, “wow is that it…” that is the devil not me speaking. It has been more than enough and it has been amazing. I a, so grateful for the journey, and my wife and children, and our Lord and Savior, Jesus. The dark days are over because I am optimistic.

41-Beyond

This is the scary part. If I have learned anything it’s to be careful what you wish for because it might just come true and sometimes quicker than you can imagine. My 2023/2024 reflections and resolutions post is a good look back at what happens in a years time and about making goals. Some of the goals on my 2024 goals list are ridiculous and I don’t care abou tthem anymore, that’s ok, and that’s why I make a big list of goals. Some will fall off. God doesn’t just answer all your prayers immediately, that’s not how it works. Prayers get answered for what you focus on. That’s like proof of work, or proof of prayer, but goals are a mix of both.

Now is the part where you put some big big goals… will I cringe at this list? Maybe. Should I just write it down anyway, yes.

Quadraginta Goals For The Quadragintas Decade

Unordered list in number format to just keep track of the goals.

1. Own lake house
2. Own house over seas
3. Own citadel (house on acreage ranch style in TX, AR, OK, WY, MT, etc.
4. Family Snow Skiing Trip
5. Write a book or two
6. Make some kind of art with clancy
7. Be a mentor
8. Teach something in a class or course
9. Healthy and happy family and extended family
10. Better immediate family relationships
11. More live music (twice a year)
12. More comedy shows (quarterly)
13. More experiences with whole family (big once year)
14. More dates (weekly DO IT)
15. Eat really great and clean foods – always
16. Own or run business
17. Take experiences from tech, btc, and now energy, to make successful business
18. Build more guns
19. Continue creating – satire, psyops, BTC culture, mining, and beyond!
20. Be a great dad & husband through supporting and leading my family
21. Early 90’s OBS Ford Diesel Pickup
22. More close friends for Clancy and I, like a couple great couples to know and lean on.
23. Deep understanding of the Bible
24. Great relationship with God
25. Really great at leading a prayer
26. Level up my knowledge of history – Greeks, Romans, Dark Ages, Middle Ages, Crusades, American Revolution, Texas History, Civil War.
27. Read classics from Shakespearse, Nietzsche, CS Lewis, so many more, I need to make a list and maintain it on this website.
28. Weekly housekeeper because I can
29. Never worry about a bill or groceries
30. 21 BTC
31. Clancy’s dreams of art creation
32. A child
33. Build a webapp that is revenue generating in a significant way
34. Energy + BTC content, product, service
35. Millscale Grill
36. Baptise children
37. More in love with Clancy in 10 years than I am today
38. Get really rich with my friends
39. Donate to some great local causes
40. Service work locally

Ok I did it, that took a long time to crank out. 21 minutes to go until the end of my special day.

A final message to my future self and my past self, you’re going to do great things, trust in the lord, love life and your family, and try to remember the little things, don’t be so hard on yourself, and don’t worry about things out of your control, keep reading the book, keep staying fit, stay in love, lead your kids and love them, drink plenty of water, and continue learning.

Don’t criticize the quality of this… Very long days here in ATX for me.

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FOOTNOTES

1. Yes it is a bit ridiculous I did not really embrace Pepe culture until my mid to late 30’s. For someone who grew up with the internet, the 4chan world was just not my scene, much more normie pilled and blog pilled than message board pilled, although I spent many hours on off topic and many other forums over the years, too bad I didn;t discover bitcoin talk forum when I found kitco gold forums. God’s plan. ↩︎