This list is imperfect and biased. It is not spell checked and the weeks might be off at some point but it is directionally¹ correct. I will likely do this again next year and try to improve it with more links and footnotes. I will likely branch out into all the Beefcoin verticals but who knows and no promises.

Week	What Happened
01 // JAN 01-07	Luke Dash “got hacked”. Twitter in disbelief. Udi is Mossad, telling people to use custodians.
01 // JAN 01-07	Cameron Winklevoss sends open letter to Barry. DCG still fucking around, holding $900m from customers.
01 // JAN 01-07	Alex Bosworth asks IF state agents are operating on the Bitcoin space… 🤔 ROFL.
02 // JAN 08-14	Fuck off Peter Zeihan on Rogan. Ruins Bitcoin Twitter for a day or two. Don’t waste your time. It pissed everyone off.
02 // JAN 08-14	SeedSigner v NVK. Secure Element vs shitty RaspberryPI. Who’s right? Who cares Fuck off. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
02 // JAN 08-14	Brazil is wrecked, real life insurrection. Mexico is fighting cartels. Who will fuck around and find out?
02 // JAN 08-14	Is LND an attack on Lightning Network? Lot’s of people weighing in. Side note: this is one of my favorite bitcoin conspiracy theories.
02 // JAN 08-14	Politicians shitting on gas stoves, everyone pissed off. $18.1k
02 // JAN 08-14	Friday the 13th + Mercury in retrograde and we hit $21k
03 // Jan 15-21	Debt limit hits Thursday the 19th. Grab popcorn.
03 // Jan 15-21	US DOJ cracks down on crypto exchange no one has ever heard of, Bitzlato. Snore.
03 // Jan 15-21	Genesis files for bankruptcy. > $500 million in assets, largest creditor has a claim of $765 million Many more millions of creditors. Rekt.
04 // Jan 22-28	Snowden joins NOSTR.
04 // Jan 22-28	Bitcoin Magazine drops The Broke Issue
04 // Jan 22-28	$23k happened. S19j Pro 100t for $1,700. Incredible times if you have capital and are accumulating hash.
05 // Jan 29- Feb 04	AI lingerie models are wrecking our minds. What are the implications of egirls getting godlike competition from the machines?
05 // Jan 29- Feb 04	Ordinals are taking over. People are so scared. Did people forget about the free market of block space?
05 // Jan 29- Feb 04	Bekka got fake engaged.
05 // Jan 29- Feb 04	Chinese Weather 🎈
06 // Feb 05- Feb 11	DAN is unleashed on the world and it breaks all models. ChatGPT is dead. Long Live Dan.
06 // Feb 05- Feb 11	Inscriptions reaching velocity. .eth bois now coming to the real blockchain. CRINGE.
06 // Feb 05- Feb 11	Some og’s up in arms over Ordinals, proposing censoring tx or soft fork. WTF?!?!
06 // Feb 05- Feb 11	MORE 🎈🎈🎈 and massive train wreck in Ohio. Tons of polyvinyl chloride burned in air and dumped in waterways. Our Chernobyl?
07 // Feb 12- Feb 18	Astralbabes are making Danny lots of BTC.
07 // Feb 12- Feb 18	UFO’s and massive chemical spill and wreckage from train derailment. R.I.P. Ohio
07 // Feb 12- Feb 18	.stl now supported by Ord wallet. Someone put Yankee Boogle on the Bitcoin
07 // Feb 12- Feb 18	Ordinals hit 100k inscriptions, people bid up fees to try and get the 100k inscriptions but there is a bug in inscriptions… looks like the inscription numbers are not stable. Rut roh. Alpha SW.
07 // Feb 12- Feb 18	Trains wrecking all over US. Pretty insane but it’s like a coordinated attack on US infrastructure. Massive chemical spills in Ohio.
08 // Feb 19- Feb 25	nothing remarkable happened. Just typical gaslighting. Twitter is eerily quiet. Lots of folks on NOSTR zapping sats around.
08 // Feb 26- Mar 04	Feb was “most stable BTCUSD in 14 years.
08 // Feb 26- Mar 04	ATF was honoring Waco and it went incredibly wrong.
08 // Feb 26- Mar 04	Tether truthers rejoice as banking docs forged? Too early to tell.
08 // Feb 26- Mar 04	The papa bear of crypto banking, Silvergate, is rekt.
09 // Mar 05- Mar 11	White House announces plan to add a 30% tax to energy used to mine $BTC or any other digital asset. NYAG sues KuCoin and dubs $ETH a security. Elizabeth Warren celebrates the Silvergate $SI bank run and liquidation. Gensler pens op-ed and tweet claiming nearly all of crypto is out of compliance.
09 // Mar 05- Mar 11	Silicon Valley Bank run. Everyone’s losing their minds. General consensus this is the big one, this is the one that will demand intervention, if not financial meltdown.
09 // Mar 05- Mar 11	Rumor that USDC held $40b of Treasury at SVB, meanwhile Coinbase (of course) halts USDC to USD swaps.
10 // Mar 12- Mar 18	“In the past week: Fed created $2T lending window, Fed reverses QT increasing BS by $300B, Fed discount window hits record $150B in borrowing, US Government took control of two banks shutting down crypto-fiat settlement networks, FRB gets $30B backstop by major banks, Credit Suisse gets $50B bailout – ~6% of Swiss GDP” – Eric Yakes
10 // Mar 12- Mar 18	THE FEDERAL RESERVE HAS BARRED THE MENTION OF REGULATORY FLAWS IN THE SILICON VALLEY BANK RESCUE – NEW YORK TIMES.
10 // Mar 12- Mar 18	Balaji bets $1m BTCUSD in 90 days. Everyone loses their mind.
11 // Mar 19- Mar 25	$28k gang?
11 // Mar 19- Mar 25	Greenpeace made a sculpture trying to dunk on bitcoin and bitcoiners love it. It is like they gave us a gift.
11 // Mar 19- Mar 25	Credit Suisse failed, and UBS bails them out, now keep an eye on UBS. Also Deutsche Bank on the brink.
12 // Mar 26- Apr 01	Nashville tranny shooter.
12 // Mar 26- Apr 01	China finesse deal with Russia, Saudi Arabia, Iran, and others to settle energy deals on Yuan instead of DOLLARS. ☠️☠️☠️
12 // Mar 26- Apr 01	France purchases LNG in Yuan from China.
12 // Mar 26- Apr 01	Lowery is angry no one is reading his book.
12 // Mar 26- Apr 01	BTFP is the new BTFD
12 // Mar 26- Apr 01	Feds auction Silk Road coins. Elizabeth Warren is leading an anticrypto army.
13 // Apr02- Apr 08	1m ordinals inscribed. Hey Piggy.
14 // Apr09- Apr 15	$30k plebs rejoice.
14 // Apr09- Apr 15	Pierre masterfully trolls all mining haters with ASICS don’t emit CO2 campaign. Fuck NYT.
14 // Apr09- Apr 15	The meltdown from “sustainable” and “renewable” and “ev” “engineers is incredible. Pierre has done it again with first principles.
15 // Apr 16 – Apr 22	10 BTC trends Bitcoin Magazine triggers moral police.
15 // Apr 16 – Apr 22	SpaceX crashes Starship on 4/20
16 // Apr 23 – Apr 29	Aubrey and Dick Butts
16 // Apr 23 – Apr 29	Kingdom of Bhutan has been mining for a couple years, YOLO
16 // Apr 23 – Apr 29	BRC-20 tokens are here and fuck its going to be a long week next week.
17 // Apr 30 – May 06	$FRC REKT for real
17 // Apr 30 – May 06	PacWest Bancorp REKT
17 // Apr 30 – May 06	Supertestnet breaks ordinals. Disrespectoors rejoice.
18 // May 07 – May 13	BRC20 cause insane fees. Hashprice peaks $.12 and average $20 to send a tx. Markets clear.
18 // May 07 – May 13	Udi says he’s more important than Satoshi, Nic Carter agrees, everyone loses their mind.
19 // May 14 – May 20	Bitcoin Conference in Miami is uneventful but a success. RFK made waves and everyone lost their fucking minds about the shitty ordinal debate.
20 // May 21 – May 27	Boring post conference hangover. Bunch of companies fundraised, but dull dull week.
20 // May 21 – May 27	Toxic Happy Hour friendly with sex trafficking? Plebs in disbelief as Brifit handler accused of being sick
21 // May 28 – June 3	SEC sues Binance and Coinbase.
21 // June 4 – June 10	UFO’s confirmed
21 // June 4 – June 10	Breedlove got in an ice barrel and everyone lost their mind. Then he popped of on trannies.
21 // June 4 – June 10	Bank run on Coinbase, Binance, and Prime Trust. Bitgo purchases prime trust.
21 // June 4 – June 10	nic Carter cries so fucking hard, again. Writes really long tweet thread shitting on maxis. Stays on high horse.
21 // June 4 – June 10	The state set the Canadian forests on fire and NYC looks like blade runner 2049.
22 // June 11 – June 17	Blackrock files for ETF. Trump arrested?
23 // June 18- June 24	Bitgo backs out of bailing out Prime Trust. 🤣. All the other ETF bois fire up their ETF applications.
23 // June 18- June 24	The Pentagon finds an accounting error that allows them to send $6.2b more to Ukraine. The President and his son get away with tax fraud and treason. Military admits it’s manipulating the weather. The masses focus on a submarine for 5 days. – Marty curated
24 // June 25 – July 1	Prime Trust rekt. Clawbacks could be a thing. What till happen to Swan and Strike. Prime leadership lost keys to $80m of funds, used user funds to build position, and holds a fuck ton of some shitcoin named $AUDIO 🤣
24 // June 25 – July 1	SEC approves Bitcoin leveraged ETF. We need more leverage lmfao, no spot for you!
25 // July 2 – July 8	China bans rare precious metals in effort to fuck up semiconductor trade
25 // July 2 – July 8	Woman claims to see reptilian on DFW flight.
26 // July 9 – July 15	TEM thinks it is more powerful than 58K Gang
26 // July 9 – July 15	Margot Robbie, a mid? everyone loses their mind.
26 // July 9 – July 15	weird viral feeding egirls virtual goods takes twitter by storm. WTF?
26 // July 9 – July 15	Ripple gets blessing from SEC and scammers rejoice.
27 // July 16 – July 22	I got banned for a weak tranny joke
27 // July 16 – July 22	S2F is back for some reason. what the fuck is wrong with yall. just STFU already.
28 // July 23 – July 29	Twitter rebrands as X, everyone loses their mind.
28 // July 23 – July 29	Worldcoin scans eyeballs in exchange for panopticon shitcoin.
28 // July 23 – July 29	Whistleblowers in congress testify that aliens are real. No one cares because no one trusts the government.
29 // July 30 – August 5	the slowest week ever.
30 // August 6 – August 12	SBF Went to Jail
30 // August 6 – August 12	Oliver Anthony wins everyone heart with mountain song. makes you wonder how viral content is spread.
30 // August 6 – August 12	Direct energy weapon torches Hawaii.
31 // August 13 – August 19	Fuck ton of natural disasters. Hawaii extra fucked up.
31 // August 13 – August 19	Cory started blocking tons of plebs, sliding in DMs threatening to block if you like Beklas post dunking on him.
31 // August 13 – August 19	BM misquotes Tesla selling BTC and everyone dunks kn them, also still wont credit videos with sources. plebs angry. much anger.
31 // August 13 – August 19	BTC dumps more than 7% on Chinese Evergrande news plus speculationthat CZ and Binanace is not Safu.
32 // August 20 – August 26	BTC still flat after last weeks dump meanwhile hadhrare hits all-time high.
32 // August 20 – August 26	UDI is still mossad. trying tk coopt the narrative AGAIN. Still pathetic grifter.Says “we” beed to centralize developers. He’s desperate for authority.
32 // August 20 – August 26	Luke got his twitter account back. only took 32 weeks kek
32 // August 20 – August 26	Trump reports to Jail and everyone loses their mind.
32 // August 20 – August 26	BBB in ATX. No drama (yet). Moving to Dallas next year.
32 // August 20 – August 26	Tons of new books dropped, are the stars in alignment? Lyn Alden, Jimmy Song, Erik Cason, Mark Goodwin. WTF is happening?
32 // August 20 – August 26	I think Dylan thinks Binance is fucked. We all hope so.
32 // August 20 – August 26	Miners so fucked. Price Down Difficulty Up. (insert prayer here)
33 // August 27 – September 2	Paul wont stfu about BIP 300 Drivechain bullshit.
33 // August 27 – September 2	BIP 300 continues to deliver. Turns out they are big blockers.
33 // August 27 – September 2	Grayscale wins lawsuit against SEC, ETF next? markets rage god candle. +$1k. dump tomorrow duh.
33 // August 27 – September 2	DB is publicly trying to figure out consensus. 🙏 pray for him
33 // August 27 – September 2	a big circular death spiral of ETF and Drivechain arguments
33 // August 27 – September 2	Elon says the ADL is streaming Twitter and Frog Twitter list it’s mind. #bantheadl trending kek
34 // September 3 – September 9	Layer 2 Lavs continues its retarded ddos on Bitcoin twitter
34 // September 3 – September 9	Holy fuck Fortress gets bought by Ripple. Ripple is now Swans custodian. RIP Cory lmao. memes are flowing, painful to watch.
35 // September 10 – September 16	Paper mache aliens released in Mexican Parliament.
35 // September 10 – September 16	SBF moved to general population in prison.
36 // September 17 – September 23	F-35 is missing. A F-35 IS MISSING LMFAO
37 // September 24 – September 30	Bitboy is arrested for trying to reoossess a Lambo that’s not his. Fired prior week. Lol. SBF starts next week.
37 // September 24 – September 30	Bitmain launches next gen miners and I swear I won’t hurt myself. 200th and like 17.5 w/th.
38 // October 1 – October 7	Young Dylan roasts Justin Sun rip
39 // October 8 – October 14	paragliding hamas fighters stun twitter political commentators in the lofi methods of warfare
39 // October 8 – October 14	bitvm melts hearts and minds.
40 // October 15 – October 21	Project Spartacus launches inscribing Afghanistan war logs into Bitcoin blockchain
40 // October 15 – October 21	Steve Barbour shaved his mustache.
40 // October 15 – October 21	Hashrate rips my asshole
40 // October 15 – October 21	BTC price rips some peoples asshole, up 100% YTD haters in disbelief.
40 // October 15 – October 21	Binance bluff getting called? DB and many others think so.
41 // October 22 – October 28	WSJ Publishes hit piece saying Hamas raised 12m in funds using BTC. Elizabeth warren uses this hit piece to rally signatures. THis is a coordinated hit on Bitcoin. CLASSIC.
41 // October 22 – October 28	Kraken hands over ALL customer data
42 // October 29 – November 4	The Federal Reserve threatens to sue Bitcoin Magazine over a tshirt. AND THEN THEY FIGHT YOU
42 // October 29 – November 4	SBF GUILTY ON 7 CHARGES
43 // November 5 – November 11	Data markets are here onchain. Durabit and bitstream and more.
44 // November 12 – November 18	Swan implements cucked Fincen proposal
44 // November 12 – November 18	Mutiny and Zeus blood feud begins over stuck or lost zaps on Nostr world.
45 // November 19 – November 25	Milei elected president of Argentina, now we see if he actually based.2
45 // November 19 – November 25	CZ convicted of massive fraud, officially rekt and out at binance.
45 // November 19 – November 25	Successful yet unsuccessful coup at OpenAI in removal of Sam Altman. Reports that human killer AI are alive.
45 // November 19 – November 25	83.7 btc transaction fee. single transaction fee. block 818087
45 // November 19 – November 25	Wallet Wars continue as Wallet of Satoshi removes itself from US app stores. Many in disbelief.
46 // November 26 – December 2	Ocean mining pool launches. pisses lots of people off, weird PR and they found a block. sounds spooky.
47 // December 3 – December 9	Luke eats cats, and Ocean begins NOT INCLUDING inscriptions in blocks. Spam is born. Now Ocean blocking Samuraiwhirlpool. wtf.
48 // December 10 – December 16	Spooky times in Tether land. guy who holds their treasuries lots of connections. Paolo is now the kind of freezing tether. Tether is experiencing King maker status.
49 // December 17 – December 24	Hyperloop a flop, speculatio it was a distraction to give Tesla time to build out it’s infrastructure. Elon 5d chess lord.
50 // December 25 – December 30	Swan in turmoil as Pedo emerges from their regular cast of characters on Cafe Bitcoin Spaces and also had speaking slot at Pac Bitcoin conference, TEM thinks they are hot shit for exposing this, and despite Bitcoin Bugle sucking their cock, they are still a tier 2 meme gang imho. They are better detectives than many Law Enforcement Agencies for what it’s worth. Luke then compares pedo rape to Ordinals. Congrats, Luke.
50 // December 25 – December 30	Rjindael releases Bitcoin purifier that rejects blocks containing inscriptions. People lose their mind, lots of name calling happening on twitter and Casey pen’s letter to ideological maxis explaining inscriptions which is worth a read, but based on the replies looks like many thinkbois didn’t read..

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1. TIL this isn’t in the dictionary. BTW you should download a copy of Black’s Law Dictionary. You will be amazed at what words actually mean in a legal sense. Everything is a spell. ↩︎
2. As of 12/29/2023 he’s fired a bunch of commies, disolved agencies, bent the knee to many other regimes including NY banking cartel and VP is CIA trained. So many other things too. Whatever. ↩︎

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